A New Family

February 18, 1985

My mother, Elva Crabtree Harris Rodriguez, was widowed at the age of 57 in 1972 when my father, Daniel Lawrence Harris, died of complications following a heart attack and stroke. They had been married for almost 32 years. 

Although she still traveled to all the places they had planned to see together, she was lonely. She once told me she never expected to be alone for so very long. But then she met Ernie (Ernest Raymond Rodriguez) and they married when she was 70, on February 18, 1985. Their life together was truly wonderful and she greatly enjoyed her expanded family.

I'm so glad that someone thought to take this photo of the combined family--the newly married couple; Elva's two daughters, Clair (that's me) and Jean; Ernie's three daughters, Linda, Diana, and Patt; plus our children. Many thanks to Linda Griswold for helping me with all the names I wasn't sure of.

In the front row, left to right:

Benjamin Daniel VandenBoom (Clair's son)

Breca Rodriguez Griswold (now Mariscal--Linda's daughter)

Ernie Lopez (Patt's son)

Colin Rodriguez Griswold (Linda's son)

Middle row:

Clair Harris Zarges (Elva's daughter)

Jocelyn Elise Goldsmith (Now de Sena--Jean's daughter)

Diana Rodriguez Muñoz (Ernie's daughter)

Linda Rodriguez Griswold (Ernie's daughter)

Patt Rodriguez Lopez (Ernie's daughter)

Back row:

Bill Zarges (Clair's husband)

Jean Harris (Elva's daughter)

Elva Crabtree Harris Rodriguez (the bride)

Andy Muñoz (Diana's son)

Ernie Rodriguez (the groom, holding his grandson, Andy)

We think the man who is partly out of sight on the right is Jerry Griswold (Linda's husband)

My Son Ben Turns 40

In honor of my son's 40th birthday, I put together a few of my favorite photos. 

Ben with me, bringing in the goat milk.

Puyallup, Washington

1979

Ben with tulips

Puyallup, Washington

1980

At the Museum of Anthropology in 

Vancouver, British Columbia

1981

Santa Barbara, California

1982

Christmas Pageant angel

Puyallup, Washington

1983

At White Sands, New Mexico

2012

After finishing the New York Marathon

New York City, 2014

Las Cruces, New Mexico

2015

Organizing Family Memories

This post was first published (in more or less the same words) over on my other blog, The Zees Go West. I hope that family members who are receiving duplicate notifications will forgive me. It's just a temporary situation.

Safe at last

As I mentioned in the last post, I have a large collection of family history "stuff"--photos, files of information about families and individuals, written and email correspondence about our history and our stories--just lots and lots of stuff.

Determined to share what I have with my family, back in 2010 I started this family history blog. At first, I just pulled out photos at random and wrote about them. I liked the result, but I could see that I was going to have to change my approach so that the results were more cohesive and organized and that each family was clearly delineated.

There's that organized word again. I thought that I might begin by sorting and labeling photos, a job that soon had me feeling overwhelmed all over again. I could still see those boxes of files of papers out of the corner of my eye. I wanted to go through everything once and have something to show for my efforts.

After a lot of thought, I finally came up with an approach that works for me. I hope that it might be of help (or an inspiration) for someone out there who is trying to organize their own family history chaos. I'll put the materials needed in bold type.

1. Get some great big binders and label each with a family name.

2.  Sort everything--papers, correspondence, photos--by family group. and put the materials with, not in each binder. Don't fasten anything in yet, this is a rough sort.

3. Get some dividers (this is so much fun if you, like me, like to shop for office supplies). Label them for individuals within the family, and start inserting everything into the binder in the order that pleases you. Punch holes in copies only. Original documents (like birth certificates) go into individual heavyweight non-acid sheet protectors.

4. Large photos can also go into sheet protectors. I heaved a sigh of relief when this step was done, because I knew these irreplaceable photos were safe at last. They can be scanned without any further handling.

5. Smaller photos can go into a large envelope (for now) labeled with the family name. Seal the envelope, cut off one end so it will go into the binder sideways, then punch holes into the edge of the envelope, being careful not to harm any photos, so it can be filed in the binder with the appropriate family. You can place a paper clip on the open end to keep photos from sliding out. Of course, after this step you will find a nice book or website about archival handling of photos and follow the directions to store these small photos properly. For me, having them safely in an envelope was better than loose in a box. One step at a time. 

Envelope for temporary storage of small photos, sorted by family

Now that I could see what information I had for each family, I wanted to put up some family trees on the Remember blog--my mother's, my father's, my husband's mother's, and my husband's father's, and one for my son's ancestors, since he comes from my former marriage to a Dutchman. Then, when I blogged about each individual I could start with a family tree to locate that person in the family.

While looking around for family tree templates, I found the perfect way to display my information by using the website WikiTree. WikiTree allows me to enter and save information about each person, link families together on a family tree, and add to any of my records when I have more information. Better still, they have "tree widgets" for my blog which will reflect any changes I make to any of my records on WikiTree. I also like how WikiTree will let me set privacy levels, and even allow trusted family members (or distant relatives) to make changes and additions to my records, but only if I want them to do so.

So, that's how I got things organized. As I continue the tale of our family history, I will tell you about a few surprises I came across along the way. For now, take a look at the beginning of my father's family tree. He is the mystery man in the family, so I really get excited when I find out any little thing about his ancestors. 

  

embeddable family tree updated live from WikiTree

Organizing My Family History

Note: This post was first published on one of my other blogs, The Zees Go West, as an explanation for the lack of posts there. I wanted whoever was still reading The Zees to know that I was busy on another project. 

Some came from Germany

If you've ever worked on your family's history, you'll know that it's hard to figure out where to start, especially if you are the holder of your family's documents and photos. I have piles of files of information, some inherited from my parents and some containing my own research from the last time I worked on the project in 1999. It's wonderful stuff--Birth/marriage/death certificates, probate records, and census sheets; and my favorites: Photos, interviews, letters, and stories. 

Did I refer to this project as huge? To give you an idea of the possibilities: If you wanted to go back as far as your great-great-great grandparents, you would have 16 pairs of ancestors. Now, here is where it gets interesting. According to an article (Ten Effective Strategies for Building a Family Tree) from GenealogyInTime Magazine: 

Assume each pair had three children, who in turn had three children, who in turn had three children. If we roll the clock forward, after five generations you appear. If you do the math, you will find this will produce 365 people down to your generation. But, wait a minute; you have 16 pairs of great-great-great-grandparents. This means your extended family tree has 16 x 365 = 5,840 potential people in it!

Of course, my mother's family never stopped at having a mere three children--that was for sissies. Her parents had 13 children, her dad was one of 13, and her oldest sister had 12 kids! The sheer numbers are overwhelming.

Complicating the project, just as with any else's family history project, I don't just have my mother's family (England, U.S., Canada) to document; there is my father's family (origins very mysterious), my husband's parents' families (Italy, Germany), and my son's family (The Netherlands). Add in the fact that our own is a blended family (his, mine, and ours) and the complications are endless.

Dutch boy with tulips (my son)

So, how did I find a way to start telling the family story? I want to share the process, the pitfalls, and the shocking surprises with you in the next few posts here. In the meantime, if you look at nothing else on this blog, I hope that you will read the story Mary and Amalio Talk About Life in an Italian Town in the 1920s, because this kind of record is why I wanted to make a family history blog in the first place.

Newly arrived in America

The Family History Book Says I Should Have Done This First

Now that I have been picking away at family history research for the last decade and a half, I have finally gotten around to reading some family history research how-to books. The first thing they say to do is to tell your own story. That makes sense, because who knows more about me than ME? 

I wrote this list of things about myself for my other blog, The Zees Go West. I think it tells the story of me as well as anything else I could tell you, especially since I've already written down the bare facts and statistics in My Own Genealogical Record, elsewhere on this blog. 

Too high up!

1. I have plumbing issues. I’m still afraid of the bathtub drain, and I secretly believe that one day a snake will swim up out of my toilet.

2. My father came from Worcester, Massachusetts and only completed 8th grade, making education for us kids of prime importance to him. We disappointed him a lot but he still loved us.

3. My mother came from a farm family with thirteen children and she didn’t want to talk about it.

4. My parents moved me from my birth state of Maine to California when I was three months old, thus making me officially rootless. I have lived in four other states and one Canadian province. I keep an atlas handy at all times and am always planning my next move.

5. I was born near the shore of the Atlantic Ocean and grew up in San Francisco, one block from the Pacific Ocean.

6. I learned many of the skills I needed from books.

7. I can make a blanket from the sheep onwards.

8. I used to have milk goats and that one goat, Lily, and I have been known to make a big ruckus out in the barn. She always waited until the milk pail was full before delicately placing her hoof right into it.

9. I believed that book about raising backyard goats and really thought they would weed around the fruit trees for me.

10. During the same period of my life, I once turned the geese into the strawberry patch because another homesteading book said they would clean the weeds between the rows.

11. I know to never turn your back on a gander and I didn’t have to learn that out of a book.

12. I once sheared a sheep by hand with manual clippers, but only the back half. My hand got tired. She looked like a lion.

13. I can give a sheep a shot, but it makes me nervous. It makes the sheep nervous, too.

14. I once owned a weaving store and taught spinning and weaving.

15. I think chickens are fascinating and I can sit and watch them for hours. Their behavior is a metaphor for something that I am still trying to figure out.

16. I once startled a skunk when reaching into a nest to get the eggs out.

17. I helped deliver a lamb in a dark barn while reading the directions, with a flashlight, from yet another homesteading book.

18. In my first garden I planted several rows of corn (reading the directions as I went along) with my little bantam chickens for company. While I was busy looking at the book, the banties were scratching up and eating the corn--another lesson learned about companion animals.

19. One of my favorite things to do (I have a quiet life) is to consider the alternate words offered by autocorrect. For instance, it wanted me to change the word “banties” in the previous sentence into “panties.” Imagine.

20. I honestly believe that I am psychic, but only with my sister, and only some of the time.

21. I used to live in a house that had four fireplaces and was built in 1770. All of the people who had lived there over the centuries had left some little part of themselves behind. There was always lots of company.

22. I hated swimming for years because I was sent to lessons at a vast outdoor unheated salt water pool in cold and foggy San Francisco. The thought of swimming made my teeth chatter.

23. I kind of like swimming now, but only where I can see my feet.

24. I went back to school to finish my bachelor’s degree when I was in my fifties. My father would have been proud, but it was too late to tell him.

25. I got my master’s degree when I was 56.

26. I’ve always had a secret soundtrack running in my head, describing my adventures as I was having them. (She leaned a little closer to the bathtub drain. What was that slithering sound? Something was coming…)

27. My first library job was driving a bookmobile.

28. My last library job was teaching information technology to reluctant 8th graders.

29. While skiing long ago in a headlong and out of control fashion down a bunny hill, I made a promise to myself to give up extreme sports.

30. I have a sister-in-law who once jumped out of an airplane. That’s extreme enough for me.

31. I once stepped on a snake while running barefoot down a California sidewalk.

32. I have never been bitten by a snake, but expect to be momentarily.

33. I have six dogs. I don’t even like dogs. I might be mistaken, but I thought I was a cat person.

34. Just in case, I have three cats.

35. In an unrelated development, I have had several husbands as well, nice men all. We are still in touch.

36. Beez and I have been married for 32 years and have forgotten to celebrate most of our anniversaries. We remembered the 25th because we were in Yellowstone with some of our kids and grandkids and they reminded us. The 30th was lovely because we went to France.

37. My children's and stepchildren's names are in alphabetical order, but not because of any planned cuteness. The blended family just turned out that way: Angelina, Becka, Ben, Chris, and Dee.

38. I only like to watch non-scary movies. Years ago I decided that life was scary enough.

39. I learned to knit from a book.

40. I have made 110 sweaters for Knit for Kids.

41. I learned how to bake bread from a book. It has taken me years of practice to make a nice light loaf. Ask my first husband, who used to say that one of his arms was longer than the other from carrying the sandwiches I packed for his lunch.

42. I once lived in Canada.

43. When I lived in British Columbia, my California friends believed that I was somewhere in South America. Others, who understood that I had moved somewhere up north, believed that I was living in an igloo.

44. Now that I live in New Mexico, some of my eastern friends believe I am in a foreign country where only Spanish is spoken.

45. I used to lie on a hill all night and take photographic time exposures of meteor showers.

46. A group of people entrusted me to develop their meteor shower photos. I switched the hypo and developer solutions by accident and ended up with clear strips of film.

47. I had a friend who traveled to Europe and asked me to water his plants while he was gone. I used the jug of photo chemicals that was next to the jug of plant watering solution by mistake.

48. I learned to make pies out of a book when I was 11. Once, when my parents were out, I baked ten apple pies for the freezer.

49. Another time when my parents were out, I ate too many home baked cinnamon buns and threw up. Good thing no one had thought of eating disorders back then.

50. I learned to make replacement cinnamon buns from a book.

51. Having political discussions gives me a stomach ache, not unlike the one I got from the cinnamon buns. I know what I believe and can’t understand that everyone else hasn’t gotten with the program. My program.

52. Long ago, I was sleeping naked when my apartment caught on fire. That was bad, but not as frightening for everyone concerned as it would be if it happened now.

53. My first car was a 1951 Chevrolet that my father sold to me for $200.

54. I always wanted to be a cowgirl, until I actually rode a horse and found out how high up I was. Another extreme sport given up.

My Own Genealogical Record

I have boxes of files about our family. I have books about our ancestors. While doing research about our history, I found that some of the stories we'd been told about our family weren't true. I discovered some unlikely twists, and will do my best to clearly describe what I found.

With so much information, so many handwritten memories, and so many documents, it's hard to know where to start so that my children will understand the history of our family. I'm feeling a little overwhelmed.

For now, I will start with myself--the bare bones record of where I came from, and who I came from, and who came next..

Clair Marie HARRIS

Born on November 11, 1944, daughter of Daniel Lawrence HARRIS and Elva Myrtle CRABTREE, in Trull Hospital, Biddeford, Maine, U.S.

Occupation: Librarian

Education: Bachelor's, University of New Hampshire, 1995; Master's, University of Rhode Island, 2002.

Religion: Presbyterian Sunday Schools; baptized and confirmed Episcopalian [1957]; converted to Catholicism after marriage to William Zarges.

On Feb. 4, 1966, when Clair Marie was 21, she first married James Lee REYNOLDS, son of Herbert REYNOLDS and Mary BUNKER, at the Sunset Wedding Chapel, 2091 West Fourth, Reno, Nevada, U.S. They were divorced.

They had no children.

On Dec. 16, 1972 when Clair Marie was 28, she second married Herman Willem VANDENBOOM, son of H.W.G. VANDENBOOM and Xenobia VAN DEN AUWERA, at West Point Grey Presbyterian Church, Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada.  Herman was born on May 1, 1948 in The Hague, The Netherlands. They were divorced.

They had the following children:
I. Angelina Maria [Died as an infant]. Born on Aug. 14, 1975 in Willapa Harbor Hospital, South Bend, Washington, U.S. Angelina Maria died on Aug. 15, 1975 en route to hospital in Seattle, Washington, U.S., by ambulance.

II. Benjamin Daniel. Born on July 13, 1976 at Good Samaritan Hospital, Puyallup, Washington, U.S. Benjamin resides in New York City, New York, U.S.

On Sept. 4, 1981 when Clair Marie was 36, she third married William John ZARGES, Jr., son of William John ZARGES, Sr. and Delia M. MALLOZZI, at Gethsemane Lutheran Church, Tacoma, Washington, U.S. William was born on Dec. 23, 1948 in Stamford, Connecticut, U.S. They reside in Las Cruces, New Mexico.

They had one child:
I. Rebecca Lynn Joy (Adopted) (1978-) Rebecca resides in Manchester, New Hampshire, U.S.

   

Easter Benny

Ben, aged 4

The Kids

With our 30th wedding anniversary coming up later this year, it's fun to take a look at our blended family and think that we have been a part of all of their lives now. Some have been there all of those thirty years, and some came a bit later.

Left to right: Emily, Aimee, Karlie, Isabella, Rocket, Mason, Big Chris, and Little Chris

Ben at White Sands, New Mexico

Dee and her kids

Dee and Melina

Left to right: Ashley, Mike, Rebecca, Caleb, and Joey

Ashley and Rebecca

Easter Benny

Happy Easter!

Ben, age 4

A Son Grows Up

This is Ben in the 2nd grade. Our local school participated in a district-wide gifted program that was housed in a portable at a school several miles away. The kids got to be with Mr. Dugger in his wonderful Quest classroom once a week. Ben is in the back row on the far right. 

This is a more recent photo of Ben (4th from left) hanging out with friends in New York City, where he has lived since going off to NYU quite a few years ago. He is an accountant by day, and an actor by night. James (far right) was a classmate from 3rd grade on.

Family Stew

When we lived in eastern New Mexico we met quite a number of very conservative folks. Because New Mexico shares a border with (old) Mexico, border issues are always of interest. In discussions about the border, many of the people we talked to seemed to be angry at any immigrants, whether legal or illegal.

In their minds, I believe, there was a clear separation between us (those of us who have been in this country for a while) and them (those people who have very recently arrived, or who want to come here). I found it a fascinating distinction, since we are truly a nation of immigrants, and there must be only a rare few among us, if any, who can claim a pure native American background. Of course, that means that we are all immigrants, or the children or grandchildren or great-grandchildren of immigrants; many of us were born outside of this country, and many more are just one or two generations removed from a beginning in some other faraway place.

Our family is a case in point. I was born in the U.S., as was my father. My mother was born in Canada and became a naturalized U.S. citizen when she was an adult. My mother's family came from early English Loyalist settlers who left America to go to Canada during the Revolutionary War. On my father's side, his fairly mysterious and unknown family came mostly from Ireland, and I believe that his paternal grandfather was an immigrant.

America, Canada, England, Ireland: My parents, Daniel and Elva Crabtree Harris

After those generations, however, the family stew thickens and gets ever more flavorful. There are infusions through marriage of Italians (Mallozzi), Germans (Zarges, Goldsmith), Dutch (van den Boom/VandenBoom, the spelling variations are legion), Mexicans (Rodriguez), and Cape Verdeans (de Sena). No longer is English the only language spoken at extended family gatherings. One might hear Italian, Spanish, Dutch, Portuguese, or the Creole that is spoken in Cape Verde.

America, Germany: Ellen and John Zarges (my husband Bill's paternal grandparents) with their daughter, June

America, Italy, Germany: Uncle Gene Mallozzi, holding little Bill Zarges at age one year

America, Canada, The Netherlands, England, Ireland:
Dutch boy with tulips, Ben VandenBoom

America, Mexico, England, Canada: Ernesto and Elva Crabtree Harris Rodriguez (Elva had been a widow
for over 10 years when she met Ernie)

Here is one of the most wonderful benefits of all this mixing and stirring of our family stew: The newest generation of children are a lovely coffee color, so beautiful!

America, England, Ireland, Canada, Germany, Cape Verde: Rafa and Paloma